The Balance

Why is it so hard to balance ourselves between good and bad..fun-loving & irritating..Satisfied & disgusted.. That is what I ask the Lord..

Why when I tried to show concern for someone..that someone feels irritated then disgusted then annoyed..But when someone else did the same thing for that someone..the feeling is so satisfying, happy and have peace..Am I really that horrible!?Someone who can't talk to!? Just by standing around..people can say they're disgusted..I just don't understand why..It's like a personal bombardment against me; biaseness.. Coming into a room; less than 3 times..accounting for the number of booklets also means disturbance to someone..This is so so hurting..Why am I hurting that someone!? Why am I hurting myself!?

I really don't want to think of all these..I want to trust in the Lord..To heal our land..Restore peace inside us..Give us grace to forgive another..Give us hope for a better future..And practice self-control and patience with another.. We need to balance giving and recieving.. We need to exercise unconditional spirit just like Jesus did it for us on the cross.. The Cross had said them all..

Please pray for me..I am in need of prayer..I am afraid that I will have a mental breakdown soon.. If I continue to think think think.. despite my busy schedules.. I may look alright to you guys.. that is because I am strong on the outside.. but inside me.. I am falling apart.. So pray for me ok!? Thank you.. Sincerely from the bottom of my "hurt" & "messy" heart..

Agape..