Christmas isn't Christmas~~

Till it happens in your heart..

Well listen to my story..as I looked back into this year 2005..I'm thankful to GOD for all the good and bad times HE put me in..So listen to my story this maybe our last chance..

I knew of this girl from ypm revolution camp 04..She was in my group then..Liberators..She was just like any other ordinary girl out there..Just having fun with her friends,cheerful,sociable,out-spoken,thoughful yet playful..Then, I did not really take a liking for her..She's like so ordinary then..But little did I realise that the friendship I had with her bloom into something more..

After that camp, well we kept contact with each other day in day out..sometimes even a simple conversation can be fun and entertaining..We kept each other well even through christmas though she was unable to attend the watchnight service.. But it was when on that day 27 dec 2004 when we went shopping, had a good time out in town, followed by a good dinner at swensen at Changi Airport T1..that something caused a spark to happen..That very day will be a day that I remembered..

So after that, we continued to keep in touch..showing concern with one another..basically we enjoyed each other accompany..I remember that it was on 6 Jan 05 (wed) that I got 1/2 day from my army then went down to Orchard to meet her..That day, we had a great time together..all the way till dinner where I send her back to tampines -- to her block downstairs.. Then, we slowly keep each other on sms, msn, phone calls..encouraging each other..though our time spent was short but I know we treasure every single opportunity we had..Like those days when she had chingay practices on sunday..And her birthday celebration @ compass point where we had a not so "good" pizza..a simple birthday gift for her consist of a card & a blue rose..

Sometimes she'll end school late on tuesdays and thursdays -- those were my nights off..so there we got a chance to meet up with each other..I remembered that sometimes just to meet her on time that I got to run all the way out of my camp like more than 1km to the bus stop to wait for bus; and if I know that it's going to be too late..I'll take a cab down to tampines just to meet her..have dinner with her or just walk her home..even though I put in that much effort and sweat into it..still I never complaint or make known to her because I enjoyed doing that for her.. Those runs I made are really tiring, everytime I do so.. I will pray in my heart and ask GOD for strength to be able to make that 1km run in less than 5mins..give me stamina to run..sometimes it was like running my life from the tsunami..still I thank GOD for every opportunity even if I only see her 5mins on the bus to her grandma's house in Bedok.. I am still willingly to do that for her..

That was also this one special day that I won't forget..On 2 Mar 05, there was something special happened between us on the bus 31 while sending her home..It was sure sweet and nice..Like what people say..surely there's a first time..if not I don't know why I'll think that way..

Then along the way, many good and bad things happened..but somehow somewhere someone is always there to encourage us to move on..words like look at Aaron & Jesslyn..Part and Parcel of life..u need disagreement to improve..etc..GOD is always with us..in the middle of us..that's why we're able to progress on each day..in prayers and words..we're able to see each others' needs and encourage each other..the word is edify another..

In the month of June, I think that is the best for the both of us.. we have the creative arts camp.. followed by the Annual Bible Camp.. then a good time spent outside together.. places like Suntec, Escape, Ang mo kio, Pasir ris, Bugis, Shaw Prince, Beach Road and many more..Places we been, travelled are always so fresh in my mind.. Those are like days that just passed like yesterday..Fun, Joy, Love and Peace are the words that come into my mind everytime I think of those days or been to those places mentioned..

I also rekindled the passion to travel around..I enjoyed travelling around Singapore with her..We visited many places and tried many different varities of food..Those days were fun and enjoyable..

As I think about her.. I even remembered that when I was down with dengue fever..Hospitalised at Tan Tock Seng Hospital.. She even made the effort to come down to visit me after school when her home is in Tampines; to accompany me.. to talk to me..to keep me entertained on phone and sms when I am bored..That effort was greatly appreciated by me..

But sad to say..good things don't last forever.. because our close relationship gets disapproval from many others like her peers, family and my side too.. so things started to turn sour and finally quarrels and disagreements surface out..It was so so bad then things got worse and worse each day..until finally we got to settle for strangers in life..

Throughout that period then I realised how much or what she exactly means to me..My heart was stolen by her..I was captivated by her..My emotions started to flow freely..Tears keep flowing out like it's free..makes me feel that it can be made into a lake..Her impact in my life was so great that she was like GOD sent..I really thank GOD for her entry into my life..even though we need to be really miles apart..I thank GOD for clara there to listen to my nonsense and be my listening ear when I needed someone to listen..I thank GOD for this learning and more importantly to understand the true meaning of love..

To love someone is not to possess someone..But to show the fruits of love to her..to constantly pray for her safety, her joy and her studies..To see her happy is what matters most.. Just like us trying to put a smile on GOD's face by the little things that we do.. I learn to let go of her..Even though in my heart I want her back..but We got to be patient and listen to GOD..He told me to give her another 3.05 years more.. So we'll wait for that day to come again where we can reconcile with one another..

This is my story..My story for the year 2005..The one that impact me the most in my life..Because of her..I experienced GOD even more real in my life.. He is the One Way to life's joy and for that.. I will continue to follow and run after Him..

I thank GOD for the opportunity and the prompting to pray for her in the ypm camp even..Though I didn't even have a chance to talk to her.. But I know that Your angels will always be around her guiding her and leading her on..

I will pick up my cross and wait for Him to come back.. I will not be afraid anymore.. I will not hide anymore.. I will stand firm on ground with Jesus in my heart I will future the challenges ahead in the new year 2006..although I know I faced many uncertainties in life like where to study? will I enter university? still I will trust in Him to lead me on.. By His spirit, I can confidently walk this path of mine.. May GOD bless my ministry even through the little, small things that I tried to pleased with.. with every single day of my life on this earth..

I Love You, Lord Jesus.. Thank you for giving me a wonderful journey for the year 2005..

There's some1 i'd like to mention,but . . . dis recognition is too late. ( 4 mths 15 days late)

Thailand Trip~~

Ooops..Should to upload ypm camp stuffs first but you know hands up to *something* so just upload whatever comes into my hands..hehe

From the left: Isaac, Ee Ling, Joanna(F), Estella(B), Melissa(F), Cooper, Calvin

3 cheers to this team and thank GOD for making this trip possible..It is by His grace that we went in faith..

I want 150!No no no! Too high! Too high! You can do it, boss! ;)

Setapak - Bible Study Day 1~~

As promised.. A picture taken with Ah-Hui..

From the left; Isaac, Rebecca, Ah-Hui, Russell, Isaac Chong.. (Gee..2 Isaacs...)

Isn't she cute, lovely and adorable??

Haha.. A picture taken after our bible study with them on the first day..

More to come.. :()

Church of Setapak

Mission Trip (25 - 27 Nov 05)

Setapak Church..

History Makers
1 GOD
1 Mission
1 Passion
1 Love
1 Big Family

That is the church of Setapak, KL

COS VBS camp '05

VBS camp 05

Group "Self Control"

I kinda love this camp stay tuned for my message regarding this camp.. It's found in one of the postings below..

Yeah yeah so so fun.. I love kids~~

Thanks vivian.. For being my good assistant and teacher in the 2 camps we're both in together..

COS ACC (Part II)

Another photo taken with group "Love" during our prayerwalk..

Again Psalm 23:6 comes into my mind; "surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Check us out!!!~~

COS Annual Children's Camp 05~~

Annual Children's Camp 2005

"Goodness" group; 2nd overall in camp

From the left(1st row); Ivan, Elijah, Clara, Jie En, Jacob, Isaac

From the left (2nd row); Vivian, Alvin, Vanessa , Beautrice, Wai Cheng, Shelia

I love you guys. You made it well.. Goodness will always be in my heart.. Psalm 23: 6

The 2nd most memorable camp beside the ones i had in Year 2000...

Annual Children Camp '05

I think the 1st thing I want to share is that as I went through the children's camp.. I must admit that when I went through the namelist of kids that were in my group.. Oh in case you don't know; my group is "Goodness".. I loved the nametags as I requested so hard from ZhangQi to do them in my favor.. thanks ZhangQi..

Oh yeah I was saying that I wasn't really too keen to take my group because I almost know no kids in the group less my cousin Elijah and like Wai Cheng!? in my group? Concerns like will they make a nuisuance out of themselves? am I able to handle them? will I be able to rally them up so that this camp group will be a success? all these questions keep poping into my mind when I looked upon the namelist.. But somehow or other.. Thank GOD for a sweet change in the process..

First day, we started off the day by having some P&W upstairs in the Cana Hall followed by lunch..I was usually not with the group as I had my duties as the Logistic Officer.. (woah what a high name, officer!?) So Vivian & Vanessa assisted me in taking care of the class..As expected, the group was like strangers to them.. Even Alvin got himself "lost" in the group.. We then made our way to West Coast Park there.. Nothing much to comment over there but I think the COS MP teachers did have fun with the kids there over a game of soccer although the game became too rough to play..then as usual, I got to handle the logistic portion, and slowly we made our way back to church on the bus..Along the way, I think I didn't really have a good time with my group kids as they're less responsive..even the noisy wai cheng also seldom talk much..but I am surprised to see some of my kids started to click well with each other..

Ok back to church, then we settled for bath/dinner..Again I didn't manage to send much time with my group as I was busy..So got nothing to comment..So after that, it's time for service.. This time, our speakers are a team of sunday school teachers from COS BT..I find it rather interesting that they decided to start out with games first or a skip, after P&W session..That arouse the kids' attention and enthuasium level..In fact, I was also happily involved in helping them out..So when the sermon is being shared..the kids are more attentive and showed greater interest in GOD's word..I too felt that GOD was in our midst..teaching us HIS word..It led me to believe that GOD is answering my prayers..my fasting, my believe, my hope.. GOD will see me through the ages..I was motivated and renewed with HIS strength.. Isaiah 40:31..

So to keep the story short.. I think what caught me the most from this camp are..the passion of the kids..seeing them running after GOD's heart..praying together..like showing bonding in the unity of Christ..praying together for our nation..sharing fun under the hot sun; playing the games together..me putting in more than 400% of effort..putting my responsibility in ensuring the gates, doors, lifts & shutters are closed/opened..everyone asleep..

My group members eventually caught my attention..from a rowdy and quiet group to a sporting, fun and noisy group.. I think they really make it my camp.. They're all so special in many ways.. best of all.. I think they compliment each other.. that's why my group is able to achieve 2nd spot overall.. I think my group had achieved objectively team bonding and spiritly where we wanted to; to feel GOD again in our very midst..

The last nite was very touching..The Holy Spirit was in the midst of us..Everyone was praying for one another..Even the teachers are bonded together with the kids..One of my group kid, Alvin, his prayer really touched my heart.."Dear GOD, thank you for this kor kor. Thank you for him being the best teacher I have.." When I heard this.. I was like crying in my heart.. I mean I think back of the treatment I give him.. Do I deserve such prayer from him? Then I remembered what Aunt Cindy said about some of the kids lack a fatherly image in the family that's why they came to sunday school to find one; someone who can be a mentor and a role model to them.. I thank GOD for the team from Bukit Timah.. I thank GOD for aunt Gladys.. Her prayer for me was good; very encouraging and renewing..

Overall I feel this camp had achieved what we wanted.. Thank GOD for answering our prayers.. Praying without ceasing; For this is the WILL of GOD.. =)

Devotion Time #7~~

A sharing from a friend i got through an email.

It reminds me of this phrase i heard when i was in Polytechnic: If the Lord brings me to it (challenges), He will bring me through it.. I held on to this phrase when i get overwhelmed by the impossibilities.. Just wanted to say: Don't Quit!

One day I decided to quit..I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality..I wanted to quit my life..

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God."God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me..."Look around", He said.
"Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied."

When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.. I gave them light. I gave them water.. The fern quickly grew from the earth..

Its brilliant green covered the floor.. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.. But I did not quit on the bamboo.. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful..

And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.. But I did not quit on the bamboo." He said.
"In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit."

He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant..But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall..

It had spent the five years growing roots.. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive..

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, youhave actually been growing roots?"
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."
"Don't compare yourself to others."

He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?" I asked.
"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and bring back this story.. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.. He will never give up on you.. Never regret a day in your life..

Good days give you happiness; bad days give you experiences; both are essential to life..

The Balance

Why is it so hard to balance ourselves between good and bad..fun-loving & irritating..Satisfied & disgusted.. That is what I ask the Lord..

Why when I tried to show concern for someone..that someone feels irritated then disgusted then annoyed..But when someone else did the same thing for that someone..the feeling is so satisfying, happy and have peace..Am I really that horrible!?Someone who can't talk to!? Just by standing around..people can say they're disgusted..I just don't understand why..It's like a personal bombardment against me; biaseness.. Coming into a room; less than 3 times..accounting for the number of booklets also means disturbance to someone..This is so so hurting..Why am I hurting that someone!? Why am I hurting myself!?

I really don't want to think of all these..I want to trust in the Lord..To heal our land..Restore peace inside us..Give us grace to forgive another..Give us hope for a better future..And practice self-control and patience with another.. We need to balance giving and recieving.. We need to exercise unconditional spirit just like Jesus did it for us on the cross.. The Cross had said them all..

Please pray for me..I am in need of prayer..I am afraid that I will have a mental breakdown soon.. If I continue to think think think.. despite my busy schedules.. I may look alright to you guys.. that is because I am strong on the outside.. but inside me.. I am falling apart.. So pray for me ok!? Thank you.. Sincerely from the bottom of my "hurt" & "messy" heart..

Agape..